The Joy of Stats
In the year 1977,
When Elvis Presley died,
There were approximately 170
Elvis impersonators.
In the year 2000,
23 years after Elvis Presley died,
Someone applied
The power of statistics
To the number of Elvis impersonators
Currently active.
By comparing the numbers
It was extrapolated
That the number of impersonators
Is increasing rapidly
From less than 1/1000 of a percent
Of the population in 2000
To 2/100 of a percent
In the year 2011
The Elvises are multiplying
Faster than a hound dog in heat.
The numbers increase
Faster than a rocking jailhouse
By 2026, 1 person in 100
Will dress up as The King
Ten years later, more than 10 times that
As they break one billion
In 2035.
In 2039, more than one out of three
Will don blue suede shoes.
So look to your left
And look to your right
If you’re not craving
Peanut Butter and Banana,
Someone sitting next to you
Certainly will be.
So it’s 32 short years
Until the nine billion people
On this planet we call Earth
Will all hail to the king.
So to all of you,
My future brethren at Heartbreak Hotel
I thank you.
Thank you very much.
